I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Dimming someone else’s light… doesn’t do any good but make you look like an asshole. I feel like there is a more poetic way this quote normally goes but since this is my authentic word I’ll leave it at that.
I was always a “guy’s girl”. Always played sports, always had more guy friends than girl friends in an attempt to avoid “girl drama”. Repeatedly in my life thinking that girls were just mean, or hard to get along with – and instead of focusing on bringing a change to that, just perpetuating the issue by ignoring the root cause: too much war, not enough love.
This amazing thing happened when I started projecting love and power into the world and helping others see their light… and that was that my light started to shine brighter. The more I allowed myself to be accepting and non-judgmental of other women’s choices, the more I was supported and looked upon as a role model.
Feminism is not about hating men, or being superior, but about equalization and support. My goal and view on feminism is EMPOWERMENT. There seems to be this huge misunderstanding that if you are openly a feminist you are against women who choose to be mothers, house makers, wear makeup, like pretty and expensive things… when in reality it is about a “do you boo” belief. It’s about the fact that we encourage the right to choose the very best lives for OURSELVES, that makes us inherently feminist.
In my short 28 years I have experienced verbal, mental, sexual, and physical abuse and neglect. I have seen enough negativity to know that putting any more out in the world does no one any good. I have had others try to tell me I’m nothing without them, and take responsibility for my accomplishments. Women and men have been in my life that have tried to tear me down in an attempt to make me believe that I am weak or worthless. I have clawed and fought my way back from bitterness and resentment to be a woman with a purpose and a calling. I have been kicked down enough times to know nothing but getting back up in stride. So who would I be to do anything but be a glimmering beam of positivity to anyone else? When I was so clearly handed this life because I am strong enough to handle it. Even if there are still moments (okay sometimes weeks) of mental exhaustion and crying for no reason… this is not the summation of my entire persona.
You can build a world of positivity in more ways than you know. My personal mission is to break the norms and perceptions of women with power. That we can be strong and still feminine, confident but still kind, independent but still empathetic. In a world that is trying to over sexualize everything I am about, I CHOOSE to not use my self-improvement and aesthetics for “likes” by posting half naked pictures to gain attention. Instead, I use my mind and words to thoughtfully evoke action and encouragement within other people (men and women) to go out and achieve their goals. I have a beautiful man-partner that I work and build with. We believe in each other’s strengths and never use the other to our advantage, and never rely on the other out of necessity.
Many, if not most of my clients are mothers. All are smart, and some even business owners themselves. I have created in my universe a community of strong women and repeatedly from them I hear “like attracts like”, when I tell them I lucked out having such great people.
What I want you to understand is that you can be all things you want to be. You must be brave and you must choose EVERY DAY to make decisions that better YOUR life. My business and clientele didn’t happen by accident – but the divine act of getting back what you put in. My clients and friends all have different lives and different goals, different strengths and weaknesses – but all have my support.
The girl on girl war needs to stop. One women’s beauty and success is not mutually exclusive to yours. I can make a killing being a personal trainer, and it’s okay if another qualified woman is too. I can work 80 hours a week and be just as busy and important as a stay at home mom. I am not better or worse than anyone because I choose to not wear a full face of makeup everyday. I don’t speak of my successes out of narcissism or comparison, but out of pride and hopefully… encouragement to others.
We don’t all have to be friends, or share beliefs – but we can NOT perpetuate hate or the allowance of being treated like “less than”. Start loving on your people, and don’t be afraid to have honesty with them in times of need. (To give and get)